Battered
So, it's been awhile since I've really written anything on this blog dealy of mine. I feel like I have a lot of things trapped in my head but unable to come out, even in typed form which is unusual for me. I feel like I have a lot of fragmented thoughts floating around but not connected to anything meaningful as of yet. So, please pray with me that God would begin to show me things and speak to me in ways that I can get my words around so I can share them.
Tonight at church we sang a song by Chris Tomlin called Mighty is the power of the Cross. These are the words to the song:
What can take a dying man
And raise him up to life again
What can heal the wounded soul
What can make us white as snow
What can fill the emptiness
What can mend our brokenness
MightyAwesomeWonderful
Is the Holy Cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the Cross
What restores our faith in God
What reveals the Father’s love
What can lead the wayword home
What can melt a heart of stone
What can free the guilty ones
What can save and overcome
MightyAwesomeWonderful
Is the Holy Cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the Cross
It’s a miracle to me
And it’s still a mystery
It’s a miracle to me
The Power of God
for those who believe
As I was singing, I told God that I felt weighted down. And I asked him why that was. This is the picture that came into my mind (maybe someday I'll try to draw these visions instead of just explain them) :
I am a little girl
I am very cautious
My heart is hurt
My heart is broken
My heart is battered
But I protect it at all costs
I won't let many near it
I am a wounded soul
God showed me that I am not willing to surrender my battered heart to him. I am not willing to let it go. It's tore up but it's MY broken heart, and it's all I've got.
God sees my broken heart
He knows that he is perfectly able to fix it
He loves me so much
It hurts him to see me protect my broken heart
It hurts him that I am unwilling to trust him with it
God told me that he loves me so much and he has compassion for me when I am hurting. He also told me that I can trust him with everything.
So I surrender
I pull out the broken, wounded, battered heart
I kneel down and hold it up
With tears streaming down my face, I give it up
God says, "I will melt this heart of stone, I will bind up this broken heart, I will take it from you, but you can be sure that I will give it back to you. You don't have to be afraid of going heartless all of your life. I am going to put a brand new heart in you. I am going to give you a pure heart, one untouched and whole. I am going to give you more than you ever dared to dream or ask for. Because you trust me with what you've so preciously protected all this time, I will bless you. This is the most beautiful act of worship you could give me."
posted by Gina @ 11:57 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I love you, and I'm praying for you
Gina Gina Gina...I'm so glad that we are able to share our thoughts with each other without feeling judged or stupid. Your bain, your heart and your vision are in step with the Spirit and it is such a blessing hear, see and participate in what God Himself shares with you. With that said, I want to share with your readers what we discussed the other night about this image of aproaching God and trusting Him enough to give Him our broken hearts.
Fear is a terrible thing! It puts a divide between us and our community as well as between us and God. That uncertain feeling that stirrs in our bellies that keeps us from handing our hearts to God. Those feelings of doubt and worry that Satan whispers in our ears and keeps us from experiencing Gods love and restoration.
It reminds me of Lin, one of the Cambodian orphans I met last year. Se was the youngest and had never seen white people before. We came in and started our building project and turned her little world upside down. She was terrified of us and wouldn't come near us for the first part of the week. One day after we finished an art project and we were out playing with the kids, I found Lin crying by herslef. The windcatcher we had made was broken in her hand and she was frusterated with it. I approached her and at first made her tears worse. I reached out for the toy trying to communicate that I could fix it. Her lack of trust lead her to clench the toy tightly. But I wasn't going anywhere, I didn't want her to be upset anymore and wanted to fix it for her, so I waited patiently sitting on my knees down at her level. She finally reached out her hand and handed me the toy. Seconds later it was fixed and her face lit up with a smile!
That's how it is time and again with our relationship with God. We are afraid to trust him but when we finally do instant joy overcomes us. He is always there waiting patiently for us and willing to meet us right were we are. He even extends His hands but in the end it is our choice to allow Him to work.
kristie's illustration is perfect ...
as i was reading your vision, luke 20:17-18 came to mind: "... 'the stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone'. Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."
please be assured, gina, that God has given me the desire to regularly bring your name and life situtions before his throne ...
the above comment is supposed to say "kimber said..."
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