Quasimodo
I am a wretched soul
I am a liar
I have lustful thoughts
I am angry
I do not treat everyone with love
I do not pray very much
I love praise from people
I’ve never gotten very much out of fasting
I worry about how I spend money
I am cheap
I am stingy
I love to buy new clothes even when I don’t need them
I am concerned about my appearance
I like to look good
I judge others
I don’t believe that I will receive if I ask
I’m really good at being religious
I don’t like church
I don’t believe I am worth very much
I often live for myself
I love to drink alcohol and I’m not ashamed of it—even tequila
I think it’s great that Jesus challenged and broke the law
I say “bad” words
I do not always honor my mom and dad
I love being the best
I don’t have much faith
I am proud
I am selfish
I give into temptation
I covet
I don’t pray before I eat meals
I hold onto my burdens
I’m not good at encouraging others
I have no idea what it’s like to be persecuted for my faith
I complain
I assume
I expect
I am complicated
I find it almost impossible to love condescending people
If everyone else likes it, I probably won’t
I am rebellious
I hate confrontation
I ask why all the time
I feel like a disappointment to God sometimes
I’m never sure if God is proud of me
Paul writes, “The Lord said, ‘My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness.’ So I shall be very happy to make my weaknesses my special boast so that the power of Christ may stay over me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
“Whatever our failings may be, we need not lower our eyes in the presence of Jesus. Unlike Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame, we need not hide all that is ugly and repulsive in us. Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don’t have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace. As we glance up, we are astonished to find the eyes of Jesus open with wonder, deep with understanding, and gentle with compassion.”*
“For love of you, I left my Father’s side and I came to you, who ran from Me, who fled Me, who did not want to hear My name. For love of you, I was covered with spit and punched and beaten and fixed to the wood of the cross.”*
As I stand paralyzed in silent disbelief of what I am witnessing, He turns towards me and his eyes lock on mine. I can’t hear him over the loud cheers and yelled insults, but I can read his lips from across the courtyard: “I love you.” I jump back suddenly when he is struck in the face, hard. Again, he looks at me and whispers, “I love you.” He is shoved to his knees and then kicked in the side. Tears are streaming from his face this time as he looks at me and says, “I love you”. He can barely pull himself up off of the ground. As he does he looks at me and reaches out his hand pointing to me. “I love you”—he says it over and over again with blood, sweat, and tears of desperation. Desperate for me to know how much he loves me and how much he is willing to go through so I don’t forget it.
* quotes taken from The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
posted by Gina @ 11:43 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
loved...all ALL of it....thanks
ok, did you write all of those statements at the top, because i'm thinking those were MINE (yup, even the tequilla part)..
great post.
i'm with bjk.. loved it.
Awesome! I'm with you... except for the tequila. I had a bad experience... it's a long story.
Keep being you Gina. The real you. Don't compartmentalize.
God is sheer being itself-Spirit. Those who worship Him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, THEIR TRUE SELVES, in adoration.
John 4:24 msg
A lot of those statements are why I love you, and why we get along so well. I don't have the courage to write all my statements, but I have some of my own, as well. And this particular passage you cited moved me. Thank you!
Jeez, Gina. I just read through this again, and I am just in awe of this post. I'm sure there are many out there besides me who needed to read this. I love that you wrote: "Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don’t have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace." It's the truth, but it needs to be heard time and time again, especially by imperfect, argumentative, questioning, and sinful people like me.
I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends. You all bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much.
When we communicate with people, especially friends, we bring not only the conversation at hand to the table, but past experiences, burdens, fears, expectations and of course a perfectly sculpted mask to hide behind. You are not just having a conversation with me but with my life, my emotions and my facade. We are all actors, presenting what we think people want and all the time convincing ourselves that's who we really are. It’s a powerful act when we choose to invite a friend into our world. When we take off our mask and share our authentic self.
What’s great about blogging is that it’s a way of collecting our thoughts and sharing how we feel. The bad thing (in my opinion) is that we take so much time when we blog to articulate each word of the layout. It’s not messy enough for me. Stumbling over words and figuring out how to express ourselves together is where friendships grow and intimate relationships take place. Presenting ourselves as raw, unedited material is hard but sometimes necessary. I hope that you can continue to walk with this list that you’ve created presented for everyone to see out on your sleeve so that people be blessed by who you really are.
You are an amazing person and I don’t want to have to read your blog to know who you are or what you are going through. Choose to be authentic everyday! You have inspired me to burn my mask, let’s do it together.
I love you and can’t explain how thankful I am for you.
Amen, Kristie!
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