Complete harmony

Kristie’s here. Our last horrah before she’s off to Camodia in four days. We spent yesterday afternoon running some of her last minute errands. No matter how strongly you may feel about supporting organizations that have less than desirable reputations when it comes to employee treatment—Walmart is still the cheapest place to buy life’s stupid little necessities like floss and nail clippers. Stay away from the one in Windsor right now, though. They think they can remodel the store and stay open at the same time. I remember saying, “It sounds like we’re in a war zone” as I tried on ½ of a very cute bathing suit that would have been even cuter had I been able to find the matching top. Oh well. That’s how it goes, I guess. By the time I had started to make dinner, it was 10 o’clock, or something. Something happened half way through my first glass of wine and Kristie’s grape Smirnoff Ice. We’ve had plenty of evenings that included wine and Smirnoff that did not send us into a blubbering mess, but this night was different. So, I’d like to say that it was God.

Kristie randomly started to tell me how much I meant to her. I rolled my eyes and she told me to shut up and listen. She went to her car for awhile and wrote down her thoughts in this letter:

Gina Marie, My Bestest friend -
You are the most incredible person I have ever met. What you stand for and how you think have challenged me to step into who God created me to be. You have helped me to embrace the fact that the only permanent thing in life is change. . .AMEN to that : ) You are a piece of heaven, the Kingdom here on earth and so obviously there is nothing in the stores that could help me express my feelings for you. I hope the Ballet touched your emotions and created an experience that goes with your vision of Art, Worship, and Friendship. My goal was, and still is, to let you know how valuable, worthy and loved you are every day you wake up. . .even if it is cloudy outside. Well, now your birthday is over and I'm getting ready to leave the country. Again, our friendship will go through another phase, and knowing us, we'll only get closer. But I want you to know something. You are the reason I have confidence to get on this plane. God has used you in so many ways. . .I feel like, with you, I have kicked fear out the window. I also know that you are my biggest fan and want me to experience the fullness of Christ, even if it is on the other side of the world. But on the other hand, you are the #1 reason why I want to saty. . .I'm going to miss you so much.
I love you,
Kristie Jean

All of this was quite overwhelming and it brought to mind part of what I’ve just been reading in “Velvet Elvis” (of course—you had to have known that was coming). Rob Bell explains how the rabbinical system worked in Jesus’ day. There are actually logical reasons behind the things Jesus did as a teacher and mentor. Imagine that. Rob Bell explains:

“At one point, Jesus’ disciples are riding in a boat and Jesus comes walking by on the water. And one of the disciples says, “If it’s you, let me come to you on the water.”

It’s a weird story, isn’t it?

And it gets even weirder when the disciple Peter jumps out of the boat because he wants to walk on water like Jesus.

But it makes sense – maybe not the water part, but the disciple part.

If you are a disciple, you have committed your entire life to being like your rabbi. If you see your rabbi walk on water, what do you immediately want to do? Walk on water.

So the disciple gets out on the water and he starts to sink, so he yells, “Jesus save me!”

And Jesus says, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Who does Peter lose faith in?

Not Jesus; Jesus is doing fine.

Peter loses faith in himself.

Peter loses faith that he can do what his rabbi is doing.

If the rabbi calls you to be his disciple, then he believes you can actually be like him. As we read the stories of Jesus’ life with his talmidim, his disciples, what do we find frustrates him to no end? When his disciples lose faith in themselves.

He even says to them at one point, “You did not choose me, but I chose you.”

The entire rabbinical system was based on the rabbi having faith in his disciples.

Let’s spend some time here, because the implications of this truth are astounding. A rabbi would only pick a disciple who he thought could actually do what he was doing. Notice how many places in the accounts of Jesus’ life he gets frustrated with his disciples. Because they are incapable? No, because of how capable they are. He sees what they could be and could do, and when they fall short, it provokes him to no end. It isn’t their failure that’s the problem; it’s their greatness. They don’t realize what they are capable of.

So at the end of his time with his disciples, Jesus has some final words for them. He tells them to go to the ends of the earth and make more disciples. And then he leaves. He promises to send his Spirit to guide them and give them power, but Jesus himself leaves the future of the movement in their hands. And he doesn’t stick around to make sure they don’t screw it up. He’s gone. He trusts that they can actually do it.

God has an incredibly high view of people. God believes that people are capable of amazing things.

I have been told that I need to believe in Jesus. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that Jesus believes in me.

I have been told that I need to have faith in God. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that God has faith in me.

The rabbi thinks we can be like him.”

I turned to Kristie after reading this to her and said, “It makes sense, doesn’t it? Our relationship. The way Jesus believed in his disciples is the same way I have believed in you. I have yearned for you to know and understand things that I know and understand. I have wanted you to have the kind of relationship with God that I live for. I have wanted you to live with the confidence and the faith that I know you can. Besides the indescribable friendship we have, I have been motivated to teach you what I know and to see you walk in peace and freedom and healing.”

I read another portion of “Velvet Elvis” where Rob Bell does an excellent job explaining what true peace and healing is. He says, “God’s desire is for us to live in harmony with him—body, soul, spirit, mind, emotions—every inch of our being.” This is what Jesus had in mind when he said, “Go in peace” and “Be healed”. I realized that this harmony with God is what I want everyone to know. It’s what I’m passionate about.

In the summer of 2004, I went to a “Women’s leadership conference”. It was a dynamic, life changing couple of days. At the end of the conference, we were encouraged to spend some time listening to God and writing it down in the form of a letter. After writing our letter, we placed it in an envelope with our own address on it and “turned it in”. About 6 months or so later, I received my letter in the mail. It was a reminder of what God had told me and to check to see where I was in response to it. For some reason, God brought this letter to my mind last night. Right in the middle of the conversation Kristie and I were having about peace and healing.

Up until last night, the meaning of the letter had not resonated with my soul, so to say. I was excited about it because I truly believed that God had said those words to me, but I just wasn’t sure what it all was going to look like or what I should be doing while he was working it all out. So, I decided to let God work it out and not try to figure out the how or the why or the when. In light of what God was showing me last night, though, this letter became very clear to me. This is what God told me in the letter that suddenly made a tremendous amount of sense (Sense is good. I like it when things make sense):

Dear Gina,
I don't ever want you to forget how much I love. I am working in you. I have called you to come on this adventure with me and I have annointed you. You need not be afraid or discouraged owr worried. You are mine. I have called you to be a teacher and mentor. I want you to share what I give you. I want you to show others to know me. In that and through that people will follow you. Some day you will look back, not even knowing that others were following because your focus was completely on me. I have also called you to heal. I have called you to lay your hands on the sick, both physically and mentally, and ask me for healing in Jesus name. It does not matter what I do or do not do. I want obedience from you. Obey me and some day you will look back in complete awe at how I have used you. I love you. Focus. Come boldly. Be aware.
Love, God

I pray for the patients I am entrusted with from time to time. I’ve never seen anyone miraculously healed at the command of my voice, though. But I realize that healing comes in many forms, and I trust God to decide when, where and how to heal those I pray for. Ultimately, when God heals us, it is a means to the journey—living in complete harmony with him.

As things began to piece together last night I realized a few very important things. First, God has asked me to pray for healing. Second, God has asked me to teach and mentor. As I have had this amazing friendship with Kristie I have showed her how I live in harmony with God. As we have gone through the last year or so, I have shared my life with her and have showed her how to walk the way I do (also known as teaching and mentoring). All of the time praying that she would learn to walk in the way she was created to walk. The best part about all of this? I didn’t even know it. It wasn’t until last night that I was aware that this had all been happening. And that’s why I think it worked so well. Many may say that discipleship should be intentional with boundaries and time limits and a 12 step process to becoming a successful follower of Jesus and I’m the “discipl-er” and your the “discipl-ee”. . . It’s all a bunch of crap. Don’t believe it.

I was created to bring healing in people’s lives by teaching them how I live in harmony with God. This is not something that happens quickly. This is something that takes time. And now I know—the best way to do it is through friendship. And what's amazing is that the God has used Kristie to encourage me in one of my hardest issues: feeling valuable. You just have to think that you've done something right in God's eyes when it works out so well.

Remember when I had a realization way back when. . .that the three things that I live for are worship, art, and friendship? And everything that means anything to me has to do with at least one of these areas? Hmm. That seems to be making more and more sense to me.

Have you ever had a moment like that? When you feel like you could die at any second because you’ve done your job on this earth? When you feel as if the planets have aligned in your life and it all suddenly makes sense? It’s something I cannot even write about. These words will never be able to explain it. It’s something bigger than words. It’s some sort of language that our souls speak. You might call it a feeling, but I know it’s more than that.

As a result of our conversation and our realizations and our tears, what else could we do but listen to a song! It’s always good to assign a song to a life shaking moment like this. File it away into Gina’s Life soundtrack. We listened to my favorite life-in-harmony-with-God song: Everything by Lifehouse.

I am in awe of my Creator. My Master. My King. He is so real. As the song says, “How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything.”